A Sheltered Life – stories as told to Maggie Haylock-Capon, by Liza, resident greeter at the Loyalist Humane Society. (Photographs by Alan R. Capon)
(If you are unable to adopt a cat or kitten, there are many other important ways to help the LHS. Donations of Javex and other household cleaning products, garbage bags, grocery bags, litter, cat food and kitten food are welcome. The Loyalist Humane Society is located on County Road 4, (Talbot Street), near the intersection of Tripp Road.)
The most exciting thing has happened! After years of renting space on top of the dryer in The Laundry Room, I am now a homeowner! I can scarcely believe my good fortune. It’s a long story, so let me start at the beginning.
If you will recall, I made a guest appearance on a Kingston talk show last year and caused quite a stir when I took a swing at the impertinent young man who was interviewing me. He invaded my personal space and I felt justified in giving him a piece of my mind, but poor Mrs. Moffatt was horrified at my behaviour. A video clip of my performance went viral and for a few weeks I was a star. Residuals came pouring in and I built up quite an impressive bank account.
Our resident legal advisor Crawford told me that I should consider investing my money. He suggested that I buy some real estate and offered to help me look for a suitable property. We scanned the newspaper’s real estate section and found the perfect house – a delightful little pink cottage with shutters and a picket fence. The paperwork was completed last week and I have just moved in. My very first home! I cannot tell you how happy it makes me to know that I now have a civic address of my very own. The welcome mat is out, so please stop by for my upcoming housewarming party.
There is lots of excitement here at our shelter these days. Mrs. Moffatt is over the moon because almost all of our little rug rats have been adopted. The older kittens who have not been lucky enough to find homes yet are off to be spayed and neutered soon.
There are now 39 sponsored cats at the shelter. This program has enjoyed great success and is making a real difference in the lives of many of our older residents. For just $20 a month you can become a sponsor, for as long or short a time as you like. Your cat will write to you with periodic progress reports and you are welcome to visit him or her.
The recent E-Waste Day at Prince Edward Collegiate Institute was a big success, with one bin almost completely filled. The proceeds of this event were donated to our shelter. A similar event is being planned for Earth Day, so please don’t forget to save your discarded electronics for us.
This week, I received a letter from a former shelter resident, Beyonce, who is now living with my ghost writer. She reports that a little barn kitten named Tulip Toddlebottom has joined the household. Apparently lonely for his littermates, he took an immediate liking to Briar the family dog and now cuddles up with her whenever she takes a nap. He also plays with her whiskers. Briar is patiently enduring his unwanted attentions but has been seen to roll her eyes at the boy.
All for now. Until next week,
Evicted from a Bloomfield eatery for panhandling, Saylor was rescued by Mrs. Moffatt when he was down on his luck. After a few months of regular meals, the young hobo has transitioned into a real glamour puss. With his new tuxedo he could reserve a table at any fine dining establishment in the county. Why not invite him over for dinner?
Our favourite senior, Rocky, has a crooked smile that goes straight to your heart. He’s found his forever home with us and also a sponsor – 12-year-old Gilly of Kitchener who adopted our Freddy last summer. A cat who has been there, done that, and seen it all, Rocky is now enjoying a well-deserved retirement at our shelter.
Leftie, a much loved senior at our shelter, gave Mrs. Moffatt quite a scare recently. He collapsed without warning and appeared to be at death’s door. Much to her amazement, he revived and is now recuperating in The Laundry Room. Leftie is quite embarrassed about his near-death experience and says that he did not glimpse the Rainbow Bridge, tunnels, or a bright light. He insists that he simply laid down to take a nap and awakened to a great fuss about his “resurrection”. Just call him Lazarus.
Jordan and Jamieson
These adorable orphans were discovered in a barn and brought to the shelter. Mrs. Moffatt is now raising them and all of us here at the shelter are lending her a paw. Franco is teaching them to mouse, Torte is lecturing them on proper nutrition and our resident attorney Crawford has volunteered to prepare adoption papers when homes are found for them. If you would like assistance in undecorating your Christmas tree, reserve this pair of budding demolitionists now. They will be in top form by Dec. 25th.
Son of Franco
Big Boy has the dubious distinction of being the son and heir of our Franco. One thing he will never inherit is his father’s disposition. While Franco is irascible, disrespectful, and ungrateful, Big Boy is sweet, loving, and eager to please. Obviously, he takes after his mother. This young black and white cat would make a wonderful best friend. He spent considerable time searching for his long-lost dad and has been a little depressed since finding him. Pops is not quite the puss he had hoped he would be. Whenever Mrs. Moffatt allows him to go outdoors for a walk, he visits a pole dancer named Miss Kitty or murders am innocent mouse. Big Boy is earnestly searching for a forever home where he can begin to forget the wayward Franco.
This handsome tabby was found in a farm barn near Sandbanks Provincial Park. Rumour has it that he was a beach bum who fell hard for one of the neighbourhood barn cats and followed her home. The romance was doomed for he could offer her no visible means of support and she rejected his fanciful idea of living on love. Mickey D has found lots of love at our shelter where he continues to cadge free meals. If you would like to enjoy the company of a handsome puss with no work ethic whatever, just ask for our resident beach boy.
Here’s Henry on the day that he arrived at our shelter. His owner was forced to surrender him, after moving to accommodations where pets were not allowed. It was a sad goodbye but after coming to us, Henry quickly made new friends.
This is Henry after just a few weeks at our shelter. He has settled in happily and is eagerly awaiting his forever home. Young,handsome and affectionate he brings a lot to the table, including a healthy appetite.
Franco is our resident bad boy. Despite Mrs. Moffatt’s best efforts, he remains incorrigible. He does do a reasonable job as a roving reporter for A Sheltered Life, but that’s only because he is nosy. Franco has permanent status with us, since with 249 other cats from which to choose, no one will ever adopt him. Think Charlie Sheen in a cat suit.
This little harlequin kitten is now available in our annual year-end Rug Rat Clearance Sale. Although we are nearing the end of the season, we still have an excellent selection of kittens and “pre-teens” available for your inspection. Bring Pennywhistle home for Christmas, to animate your holiday fir tree.
Madame R and Torte
Madame R and Torte spend almost every afternoon engaged in pillow talk. Our fortune teller Madame R laments that at 16 she is too old to find a forever home and Torte confides that she cannot lose a pound, no matter how much she diets and she is very tired of all the fat jokes. Misery loves company and these two pusses agree that sharing a problem halves it. Politics is not the only thing that makes for strange bedfellows.
His name is Cruiser (as in cruisin’ for a bruisin’) but so far he has pussy-footed away unscathed. Cruiser is well-known for his proficiency in the boxing ring. He’s young, sleek and handsome but make sure you always address him as “Sir” and pay him five Temptation treats a week or you’re toast. Cruiser needs a forever home in which he will be the only pet. If you are seeking a take-charge man in your life who refuses to put up with any nonsense, he’s the cat for you. But underneath all of that bravado, he’s just a pussycat.
Clifford Jacob Bedborough the First
Clifford was rescued by a student from Prince Edward Collegiate Institute who contacted the shelter to seek help for this red and white stray. After only a short time with us, Clifford is beginning to gain weight and the scabs that covered much of his body are healing. He is declawed and obviously was once someone’s much-loved pet. He would make the purrfect companion for anyone seeking an indoor cat who will never claw furniture or climb the drapes.
A dilute tortoiseshell, Sally C. was surrendered to our shelter recently. This young cat has a beautiful fur coat in muted shades of cream and gray. She is eagerly awaiting a new home and will happily audition for the job of house cat.
Pubster is young, handsome and available. One of Mrs. Moffatt’s favourites, he is growing a little depressed about his unsuccessful attempts to find a forever home. With his sweet disposition and good looks he should have been long gone by now. We are doing our best to cheer him up by telling him that it is just a matter of time until Mr. or Miss Right come along, sweep him off his paws, and take him home.
Bond, James Bond
It’s hard to believe, but James Bond can’t find a date. This handsome rogue has had no success at all in finding a forever home. Some of the most beautiful women in the world have swooned for him in the past, but these days no one is giving him a second glance. End the cold war. Adopt Mr. Bond.
La Te Da
A stray found on the Glenora Road, La Te Da is about two years of age. This perky miss would be a purrfect family cat or new best friend for a lonely senior. Be sure to see her when you visit our shelter.
News Flashes From Franco
Don’t miss our booths at the Bloomfield Craft Fair on Saturday, Nov. 2nd. Fashions for Felines has been a big hit. This new booth features some very trendy threads. Our regular booth showcases some very fashionable cat toys, sleep mats and dog scarves, in addition to many unique gift items. Start your Christmas shopping now. The craft fair will open again on Friday evening, Nov. 29, for the Bloomfield Santa Claus Parade and again on Saturday, Nov, 30, then close until spring.
The hunting season is coming to a close but I did have a very exciting kill this week. An inebriated mouse wandered right into The Laundry Room late the other night. All of the girls, including Liza, shrieked and ran in all directions but I stood my ground and told them not to be afraid. I took care of Mr. Mouse. Of course, once he was mouse meat, Liza and the other members of her hen party took over and claimed bragging rights. I think Liza is planning to have that mouse’s head mounted over her fireplace in that cottage that she just bought.
-I’m outta here,
From the Desk of Liza
Life at the shelter can be lonely for some of our residents. It’s always gratifying to see new friendships spring up. In the Seniors’ Room, Chloe and Beyonce the First have bonded. They can be seen walking cheek to cheek, almost like Siamese twins.
Of course there are always cats like Cruiser the Bruiser who demands his space. Several of our residents have attempted to befriend him, with unfortunate results. Then there are Hissy Missy and Spitty Riley, two foul-tongued old dears who never have a good word for anyone.
Myself, I enjoy socializing with a select group of my fellow shelter inmates. Now that I have my very own cottage, we are thinking of starting a book club. The first literary work up for review will be a thriller titled Three Blind Mice. It’s bloodthirsty, but the plot is fast-paced.
About the Author: Maggie Haylock is a freelance writer and former newspaper reporter who has co-authored several books with her husband, Alan Capon.